A friend and I got talking one evening, joking and laughing our worries out until I hit a question on his past, penetrating the present and future and then he seriously stopped to say ‘I want something stable now, I can’t afford another heartbreak; I need a serious relationship…’
I was going to dispel the thought that having a good/serious relationship is not easy as my Bestie worried one evening that she’s not been attracting any ‘good guy’.
Many times, we don’t often get what we want; True- but we often get what we are. This saying borders on viewing oneself as a product in a competitive market. Before you can discover something worth your attention, you must be attentive yourself.
Interestingly, men have issues in relationship as females do, no matter how conspicuous they are, the irony is that they will still not catch the attention of any ‘man’.
People some times say ‘this is not me’ – I don’t wear this, I can’t just wear it because it’s not just not me. The first thing to do after identifying oneself as a product in the relationship market, is creating your brand. That which is best about you is ‘YOU’ and nothing else. Your brand is not defined by what you eat, who your parents are, the music you listen e.t.c but your single identity as a separate entity. Have you ever asked yourself who you really are? What kind of experience do you communicate people about YOU? In a market, branding is what distinguishes product A from product B.
Therefore, in the world of female folks have I found four Unique products – ‘the girl’, ‘the lady’, ‘the woman’ and ‘the tomboy’. Out of these four, only one builds to last and that is ‘the woman’. At a notable time in a woman’s life, she’s got to man-hunt, trust me, it is only by knowing herself that will make her distinguish ‘the boy’ and ‘the sissy’ from the man.
However, the key to distinguishing oneself for a long-lasting relationship is knowing your personality value which is embedded in your brand. Now get this right, a man’s personality is not defined by his supposed knee-weakling 6 packs or growing a forestful beard; he is however identified by his maturity and not age; devotion, commitment, handling responsibilities, dedication, intelligence, understanding and many more. All these qualities are also applicable in marking out ‘ the woman’.
Therefore to build your own brand, you must be yourself and nobody else, know your likes and dislikes, do what you want, say what you want to say and regret it later, get some standards – all these will make a beautiful ‘YOU’.
A sales assistant introduced a new cooking oil to my mother at her store and when she used it to cook her jollof rice that night, it tasted as if she added chicken. You know what, whenever her customers come, she would talk about the oil that makes her food smell Chiken-ish, over and over again. Then the buyers’ curiousity are heightened and they begin to inquire about the oil, the price and all. And this brings us to packaging. Even after building your brand, you need to sell it out to the world, remember it’s a market, and that which does it so well is the your packaging.
The way you talk , what you wear, who you walk with , the type of music you listen to, what you enjoy doing, where you can be found, what you can be trusted with and many more all determines who gets your attention- whether a boy/man or a woman/girl as the case may be.
In brief, appearance and visuals only do not determine YOU; the things that define you are embedded in who you really are, what you stand for, what you can do, where you are, where you go to and finally how you carry yourself. Building your brand is the key to your success, in having a serious relationship. You want someone to be nice to you, then be nice yourself. You want someone to like something about you, like it first; you want someone to love you, love your self. Be who you are and you will get what you deserve.